Fang Space
by Kate Skye Ride
Summary: I've finally decided to give Fang his own space to do what he will. Rated T for possible language we are too paranoid to have it any lower...
1. 101 fun things to do shopping

Fang: So, I finally persuaded Kate to give me a bit of space. Sadly she took that as needing FanFic space, not physical space. But what can I say? We love her, we really do!

Kate: Awwww... I knew you all cared about me! -tears of joy-

Fang: Okay then...

With that I ask the question; Do I really need to disclaim myself? I'm confused with that, I mean, I am the person! But just in case JP decides to go on a rampage, suing his characters for umm... Telling their life stores? I don't own anything familiar.

BTW, I made this list up with Kate (actually doing most of these things), & we didn't get it off someone's profile. Just clearing that up.

So... Enjoy!

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><p>1) Lie in the bottom of a shopping trolley &amp; wait to scare someone who notices you. (Timing it is fun for two)<p>

2) Shut your eyes in the middle of an isle & continue shopping as normal.

3) Go up to some random lady & hug her, crying hysterically at her reaction. (If she hugs back, RUN!)

4) Go to the service desk & loudly/sweetly ask where you can find something you know they don't have. (I.e. A bunny in a newsagent, or a book in a shoe shop.)

5) Stand in the busiest area & look lost. When someone from the staff team asks you if you need any help, scream & yell "STOP STALKING ME!"

6) Purchase a small bag of bird seed/chicken feed/other edible animal food, then go about your day eating said food. When people look at you, scream "IT'S ORGANIC!"

7) Walk into the wrong change rooms & try to go in with the wrong underwear. (Kate got _me_ to do this one. Yeah, they called security & we have to find a new place to shop...)

8) Stand somewhere near a TV (on of course) & talk to it.

9) Stand inside a freezer (ice cream is best), close your eyes & cross your arms across your chest (much like a mummy). When people come too close, or look, jump out & scare them.

10) Attempt to climb to the highest point in the store. When people ask/point, jump!

10.1) Actually do what you came to do, SHOP!

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><p>Fang: There you are, 10.1 things to do at the shops! Didn't see the '.' at first, did you?<p>

Kate: He would love for you all to review.

Fang: I'm not too fussed over it, but it would be nice!

R&R!


	2. How not to catch a chicken

**How**_** not**_** to catch a chicken...**

Fang: Okay, so Kate owns some wacky animals. By that I mean she's got a large golden lab who is only one & a half, but can still run down a full sized adult with _joy!_ He's just too excitable & doesn't know his own strengths. She's got a cannibalistic fish, yeah Silvie ate Goldie. Hey, she was like nine when she got them. She had to name them within two minutes so her Grandma would know. After all, Grandma bought them. Kate's got four ducks, who hiss, _loud!_ Oh yeah, did I mention she has two rather skittish chickens? Well, she does.

So here's the story of our 'fun' afternoon...

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><p>"Kate, why is there a chicken in Reggie's yard?" Mum asked. (Reggie is the lab, our cheeky dog)<p>

"I don't know, weren't they put away into the yard?" Kate asked.

"That's what I thought too. Your little brother was supposed to put them away, before he left," Mum replied sounding frustrated or maybe just confused.

"Well, Fang, let's go get them!" Kate said cheerily. My instincts said be afraid, be _very_ afraid.

"Ugh. Okay," I sighed walking after her outside.

This is where it really starts to get funny. So, Kate & I went into Reg's yard, after being knocked almost to the ground twice or more.

"SIT!" Kate yelled at Reg. He did, but his tail & general body was shaking too much for him to be settled. "Good boy," she said, but once the words had left her mouth he was up & jumping all over us again.

"Spoke to soon, eh?" I joked.

"Oh, shut up Fang," Kate snapped. "REGGIE!" She screamed as he pushed her over, again and started 'nibbling' her face, arms, legs, feet, ankles, really anywhere he could get to. I jumped over and wrestled him to the ground, so that Kate could get back up, even if only for a minute.

"Reg, come on. Over here, Reggie!" Mum called. She held up a treat to distract him, & it worked.

That was one less disruption. "Okay, you grab the gate & I'll get the chicken," Kate said. I nodded & opened the gate. The problem? The other chicken had gotten in. Kate got the first chicken up & carried it out, before realising the second one was in. "Righto, now if we just grab you," she said reaching out to the chook. Usually if someone they know reaches over them, they 'bow' or 'sit' so we can pat them or pick them up. But this is Mocha Choca we were talking about, yes that is her name & the other one is Latte. So that means she wouldn't be _that_ easy, oh no. No way.

"Bruck, bruck, bruck, bruck," Mocha Choca said. That was a rough translation of 'I'm not going anywhere' in chicken.

"Come here, you chicken!" Kate called. Unfortunately for her, Reggie was done with his distraction. So that meant Reg was terrorising MC, so she was a little more skittish than usual. This meant that she was running around everywhere & jumping away from us. Then Kate began to get frustrated. "Grrr... Don't make me eat you, chicken!" That's right. Our lovely Kate Skye Ride was _threatening_ a _chicken!_ A poor, defenceless _CHICKEN!_ "I will have you for dinner, & not as my guest!" I couldn't believe my ears. Kate was threatening Mocha Choca!

"Now, now, Kate. There's no need to threaten the chicken," I said as I walked towards her & picked the chicken up.

"It hates me!" Kate screamed running back inside, balling her eyes out.

"I guess it's just you & me now, Mocha Choca." I told the chicken as I walked towards the pen & put them away...

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><p>Fang: Well, it was one <em>hell<em> of an afternoon.

Kate: My chickens hate me! But they love you! -bursts into tears-

Fang: Anyway, I have full access to my line! R&

Kate: R&R!


	3. Stupid sayings that mean, what?

**Stupid sayings that mean what? **

Fang: So, talking to Kate the other day when she said 'Pleased as punch.' It got me thinking about all the stupid little things that people have said like that...

Kate: Let's write them all down and wonder over them!

Fang: Fine... But just warning that this one is gonna be short... Kate wants to update her other stories...

Kate: Which you all had better read! Please.

Fang: Just let them read this one already!

Kate: Kay. ENJOY!

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><p>Pleased as punch. (Gotta start somewhere, right?)<p>

Happy as Larry. (Who the hell is Larry, and why is he so god damn happy?)

Tickled pink. (What about those of us who don't enjoy being tickled, or better still, people who aren't ticklish?)

Fly in the ointment. (Yes, Max has been over this before. It's just plain gross...)

Stick in the mud. (Isn't this to be expected? There's gonna be a couple of sticks in ya mud!)

A monkey's uncle. (Well theoretically, this means that if you're the uncle, you should be a monkey too.)

Bob's your uncle. (What is it with Bob? I know some very nice Bobs, so don't diss them out!)

Average Joe. (Again with the name discrimination!)

Guinea Pig. (I don't think that there's anything wrong with Guinea Pigs, and they're not the only things that get tested on.)

Til the cows come home. (So Kate, her little brother - James, and I were watching Open Season, and we saw it in there. So it had to be put in here!)

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><p>Fang: So that's about all I can come up with, just ten... If you can think of any more, let us know. We'll start a reviewing chain, so review with a response to any you can think of... Sort of like a forum, except I can't be bothered to set a new one up and Nor can Kate.<p>

Kate: Plus I feel a little sick... -vomits into bucket-clutches bucket- I think I'll go lie down now...

Fang: Yeah, you go do that...

R&R


	4. A very Fangalicious Christmas

Me: As promised, one poem squeezed out of Fang... Not literally.

Fang: I think this is okay, but do we have to put it up?

Me: So long as I'm on cold meds, oh yeah baby. It goes up.

Fang: Oh dear...

Me: Enjoy this festive poem!

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><p><strong>A very Fangalicious Christmas...<strong>

'Twas the night before Christmas, when out by the gate

Not a bird-kid was stirring, but hey look - it's Kate;

The stockings were hung by the window, of all sorts,

In case the morning visit was to be cut short;

The flock were all tucked in, drooling in their beds,

While visions of snow and bombs danced in their heads;

Kate in her shorts, and myself in something black,

Had just settled down for our very short nap;

When up from the roof was a crash, then a pause,

I leapt up with Max and Kate to check out the cause;

And out the window we flew carrying Kate,

Really she did nothing but make us more late;

The moon shone on the lack of fresh snow,

Instead mud lay around, near the steps, oh no;

Then we saw the source of the sound appear,

It was a little sleigh, and some tinier-than-Angel reindeer;

With the driver, missing from the saddle,

We all tensed up, getting ready for battle;

Until Max flew up, Kate clinging to her side,

And pointed to something high in the sky;

I looked up and thought it was St. Nick,

But oh no, 'twas Iggy trying to be St. Fnick;

"Now, Angel! Now, Gazzy! Now Ella and Nudge!

On, Total! On Akila! On, Rudolf and Dancer!"

I looked at the girls, then back to the dread,

Then finally decided it was back off to bed;

But I heard Ig scream, as he flew back into sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Boy he was in for a good slap,

But not until after my long, long nap.

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><p>Me: So, what did you think?<p>

Fang: I think it's time for bed...

Me: Good idea... MERRY CHRISTMAS LITTLE PEEPS!

Fang: R&R. Who knows, Kate might do one next year...


	5. Our 'fun' day out!

Fang: Welcome back... As you probably know, Kate's been on crutches for quite some time...

Kate: I've just come off, actually!

Fang: As I was saying, she's been on crutches, so we've had a rather interesting month with those crutches... This was our outing.

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><p>Last week mum and Bob (Kate's step-dad) had to work... So Grandma was minding us all... Well really she was minding Ruby (Kate's twenty-give-or-take month old sister) and James, until he went to school (Kate's eight-almost-nine year old brother... Who doesn't go to our school... We're off and he's not.), and arguing with Kate to get up, while I stood there listening to Kate's argument with herself...<p>

"Get up. But I don't wanna. I don't care, get up. But it's cold. It'll be worse if you think about it. But I can't be bothered. I don't care, just get up!" and so went the conversation with herself for the next twenty minutes...

She finally got up, and we all piled in the car to go feed Kate's uncle's dogs (Pip - Kate's actual dog, but lives with the boys, and, ironically, Ruby...). So Kate got the front seat thanks to the crutches, so I sat with Ruby (the baby, not the dog) in the back.

"Ah cuck," Ruby said as we drove past a truck. Realizing the size of the truck, she then said, "ah, biiiig cuck!" Give her some credit, she's one and a half...

So after we got to the boys and took Ruby in to see the dogs, Kate stood in the dog-bed-area-thing-kinda-like-a-veranda-but-out-the-back (...), with Ruby on her hip, desperately trying to fend off the curious dogs, namely Ruby... And I helped Grandma feed the dogs.

That's about the interesting stuff from there, so we left and were driving to the park when Grandma said "almost there," to Ruby, and she repeated "ahmos verr." It's kinda cute how she does that...

Then when we got there, it appeared the child lock was set on my door... So Kate just smirked at me and had a silent chuckle... Yeah, let's just say they walked off without me and it took Grandma twenty minutes to figure out why Kate was laughing so much...

So eventually they got me out, and went to the park. Where there was one seat that wasn't in the shade/wet... But only a smidge of it was in the sun, so Kate plonked herself down right in it... It didn't do much, I say this because she continued to complain about how cold it was...

After about twenty minutes we left, we walked (sorry, some of us walked, some of us {Ruby} ran and others {Kate} hobbled...) around the park to the lights.

"Okay, Miss Ruby," Grandma said attempting to pick Ruby up to put her in the pram/bike/buggie... But Ruby kinda ran back towards the park...

-twenty minutes later-

We caught her finally... And now the next challenge...Crossing the road...

It seemed trivial enough, but try doing that with a baby who likes switching the course of the buggie you're pushing her in and a very unco. girl on crutches... Not so easy now, is it?

So, we did it, but it took a moment or two to get our balance at the other side...

Once we were there, we continued over to the shops, where we got Ruby a chocolate milkshake, Kate a caramel one and myself a mint milkshake. They were nice, and we continued to the area of seats and there it was... The holy train ride. Ruby just had to go on it, and not just one of the seats, all six of them...

Afterwards, we walked (see description above) to the other end of the shops, where there was another ride... But this one was the 'Wiggles' ride! And Ruby loves the Wiggles... She calls them 'wuggies' because she can't say it properly, so she was chanting 'wuggies, wuggies, wuggies!' until Grandma put her on the ride.

That's when Kate looked at Ruby's half-drunk milkshake and said "She still not finished that?" Grandma just looked back at us and Ruby gave us a look that said 'don't talk about my milkshake like that!'

Then after a hard day of being Ruby, we took her home for a nap... And that meant, we had survived another outing!

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><p>Fang: And as I write this, Kate is sitting here, blasting music from her laptop... And singing along... She's not half bad, but she's being obnoxious and she knows it...<p>

Kate: WOAHHH, MONA LISA!

Fang: Exactly... Way to corrupt Ballad of Mona Lisa...

Kate: -smirks-

Fang: So, if you want more details on what happened to Kate and all that jazz, just take a look at her proper story, 'Replaced, But Never Forgotten.' We just updated that, so there's all sorts of goodies in store for the readers!

Kate: WOAHHH, MONA LISA!

Fang: -rolls eyes- So, if we could get to, say, 20 reviews before the next update, that would be cool... I'll keep the updates regular, if you keep the reviews regular.

Fly on,

Fang & Kate.

R&R.


	6. 12 Days of Fang's Christmas

Kate: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Skyders!

Fang: Oh great, now she's Santa...

Kate: Nah, this is Fang's Space, so I'll leave y'all to it while I go help mum clean out the freezer... In other words, there's ice cream! -runs away-

Fang: Right, well it's that time of the year again and Kate's had me do another Christmas special, seeing how much you guys liked the last one.

So I hope you enjoy it!

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><p>On the twelfth day of an AussieFaxxy Christmas, dear Maxy gave our Fang;

12 pairs of flip-flops,

11 choc-chip cookies,

10 singing samples,

9 spontaneous dances,

8 late night flights,

7 dunks in the pool,

6 surprise kisses,

5 tired sighs,

4 crazy bird kids,

3 giggling girls,

2 stressed out relatives,

And a Gazzy with a rocket launcher.

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><p>Fang: Short, yes, but would you rather I went through every single thing?<p>

Kate: -licks Splice-

Fang: You right there?

Kate: -nods-

Fang: Of course you are... Well from all of us here in Aussieland, we wish you guys a Merry Christmas! Check out Kate's blog for more Christmas humour and just to check out what she's doing. And if you've been reading her Ouran High School Host Club fic, then go to that because she's got a Christmas special there too!

Kate: I do... -types down last words furiously-

Fang: So have a good and safe holiday!

Fly on,

Fang & Kate.

R&R!


End file.
